Manic Monday...
musings over morning coffee + an unreleased song about Snacks <3
There is a pair of mourning doves that have used a hanging plant on my front porch as a nesting space for the past 3 summers in a row. The first summer, their eggs never hatched, and I wept for a full day when they finally abandoned them, and then I buried the eggs in my front yard. The following summer, there was a random hurricane warning in LA and I sat on my couch watching them from my front window, horrified that the high winds would sweep the plant off its hook. I researched for a full day prior on whether or not I could move the plant to the ground or if that would mess with their vibe and cause them to abandon ship (most research suggested I leave the plant alone.) The hurricane never really hurricane-d the way the news said it would, and thank god, the birds were safe. A few weeks later, the eggs hatched and the babies were tiny and cute, and I said hello to them every morning from the window, and every time I passed them on the porch walking to my car. I left for vacation, and my dad, who graciously always stays at my house when I leave town to watch Josie (my dog in case you don’t know her name), would send me updates on the babies, including really grainy videos which I was unable to make out whatsoever, but I thanked him for sending them regardless (he has an Android phone, and those videos do not like to appear viewable when sent to an iPhone.) The babies grew big enough to leave the nest before I got home from vacation, and by the time I arrived back, the plant was empty, with nothing but a few tiny feathers and some twigs left behind. I was sad that I didn’t get to see them off, but I was happy to know they survived the summer of the fake LA hurricane and are out in the world now.
The birds have returned this summer, but there is something weird going on, and I can’t get to the bottom of it. I am a self proclaimed bird girl, but I don’t know shit about birds. I just like to watch them from afar - and have recently become obsessed with the idea that they are living dinosaurs (which I didn’t know anything about until my fiancé told me in Hawaii while we watched Jurassic Park… see, not a real bird girl, nor am I a very science smart girl!) Basically, what is happening this year is that the birds have returned, and it is very obvious to me that the mom bird is attempting to lay her eggs in the plant, but she isn’t having much luck. I watch her from the same window I have watched her from for the past two summers, and I notice her doing a weird little dance trying to deposit her eggs, but nothing comes out. She will fly away and then return to the plant a few hours later and do the same thing with no luck. She will be gone for a few days, come back, do the same little dance, no eggs, leave, repeat. I’ve tried to do a little research on what might be going on with homegirl, but I haven’t been able to find much. Seeing as I am pregnant this summer, I feel an even deeper connection to my little porch pet, and I really want her to succeed! I left out a takeout tray full of water, thinking maybe the extreme heat is making it harder for her than usual, but it appears she has not yet touched the hummus container water I’ve left for her. I hadn’t seen her in a few days, but this morning, after I poured myself my little iced coffee (yes, I make iced coffee from home guys!), I heard her cooing, and I walked to the window and saw her, again, doing her little dance. Still, no luck, and she left again. I hope she figures it out. I wish I could be her little bird midwife and help her, but instead, I will just observe from the couch and hope for the best.
The past week has been pretty interesting for me as a pregnant lady. I am getting bigger and feeling more and more pregnant, and it is really starting to set in for me that … whoa … I’m having a kid. There is a tiny little person developing inside of me who is going to have a whole ass personality, fears, dreams, opinions, insecurities - everything a human being has. I feel like I have been pregnant for both one second and one billion seconds. I am starting to get pretty uncomfortable physically, and I’m only 23 weeks preggo! At only 5’3”, there isn’t a ton of room in my torso for this girl, so while I am doing ok (for now), I am also like … what is going to happen when she gets … bigger? Where does it all go? My thighs have turned into one thigh. My boobs have outgrown every bra I own. I can barely reach down to tie my shoes. I still have 4 months of this!?!?!?!?!?! I’m not complaining, really. And even if I were, that would be ok too. I am incredibly grateful for this experience, and I am so excited to meet this little girl. I can’t wait to sit on the couch with her next summer and watch the porch birds. It’s just a lot, that is all. And it’s hard to imagine that… so much more is coming.